The Art Of Not Oversharing….

WHEN I appeared on telly the Lorraine sofa next to Tamara Ecclestone (of billionaire dad Bernie fame) it was because we had opposing views on ‘breasties’.

As a selfie is a picture of you taken by you, a breastie is a snap of you breastfeeding, then put on social media to show the world and the chat we had on TV went on to appear on the Daily Mail’s website.

Tamara loves doing this; I don’t.

I found breastfeeding one of the most rewarding parts (after some initial painful, exhausting, going-mad moments first time round) of parenting.

But I was happy keeping those beautiful, intimate moments to myself.

I told Tamara that if I looked half as good as her in a brelfie (lounging beside a pool somewhere tropical with toned, tanned body and oversized shades) I might consider sharing the image too.

The more realistic image would be of me in a cafe flailing around trying to stop my toddler pouring water everywhere l, while trying to get my baby to latch on and covering my soft white belly, baby’s head and my milk-inflated breast with a shawl.

On reflection it’s not true. No matter what I looked like I wouldn’t show the world and the reason is best summed up thus:

I have a friend who was a Facebook devotee. In our twenties and early thirties, if she was out, you’d see the glamorous or debauched proof in pictures.

Then one day she wasn’t there. Without warning, she withdrew her account and when I asked her why, she admitted she couldn’t handle the new domination on her timeline of births.

Every pal it seemed was having a baby and while she was delighted for them, it made her sad because she’s been trying for many years without success.

Does my heart burst with pride on occasions and I can’t resist posting a picture of my two wee red headed boys? You bet.

But I don’t do it every day or even week. For one, for those outwith my bias family, it’s surely dull.

Of course I post family snaps now and then – it’s human nature to show pride.

But who is it really for? Us of course. Why post a picture breastfeeding when it’s so intimate – an act between mother and child?

Because you look great. That must be it, for it’s not helping the child. And it’s definitely not helping anyone who’s broken up with the person with whom they dreamed of having a family, or a woman struggling to conceive.

Tamara said she simply loved her daughter so much and liked sharing beautiful pics. I couldn’t love my children more, but don’t understand the relevance.

A wee bit of self-awareness can go a long way.

The argument that it encourages mothers struggling to breastfeed is nonsense because no mother at the end of her tether with cracked nipples and a screaming infant will be buoyed by looking at an impossibly glam mother breastfeeding my an infinity pool.

The scenario above – of a blubbery mother encased in baby-weight-tummy and rock hard, veiny boobs (and not in a nice way)..now that might make a few new mums smile.

But you won’t see one on social media anytime soon. It’s real, authentic and in that sense beautiful – but model-sexy it ain’t.

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